6 Hearts, 3 Fights, and 1 Night Out

“Literally everyone is breaking up tonight….”

It’s just one of those nights I guess. We all wanted to go out have a good time and it turns into total chaos. Was it the vodka, beer, or running into an ex? I really don’t know, but dang…. tonight is what it is…

We hit the first bar and the chatter begins, ordering our first drinks and strangers getting acquainted between the groups. I’m happy, they’re happy; everyone seems to be getting along just fine. Then the ball drops, someone hates the bar were at and is ready to move on, so those who need to chug the bit of their drink and were off. We make our second stop to a more upbeat club where the music’s poppin’ and those who are confident enough in themselves make their way to the dance floor. Our crowd still seems pleased with each other till Fight One breaks out, girlfriend gives boyfriend too much attention and he’s off he can’t deal with the clinginess tonight…he steps out of that club and leaves her hanging for the rest of the night. Now she’s stuck in the corner with no money, because it’s in his wallet and a cellphone full of hurtful texts. Within the next hour Fight Two comes rolling around, boyfriend won’t dance, but feels free to get “jiggy with it” with girls standing on the out skirts of the dance floor. Not that the girlfriend minds, but he’s usual problem is she doesn’t pay him much attention so when she wants to dance why wouldn’t he follow, instead of lagging behind to hit on her friends…Fight Three, girlfriend feels like boyfriend is causing her claustrophobia, because he doesn’t trust her? Hmmm… I mean chances are he just wanted to dance and the dance floor is packed so yeah he’s going to be right up on you, but you do what you gotta do when you want to cause a fight. Now three couples end the night going to their own beds alone and thinking about the issues of the night and fall asleep with questions and irritation with their significant other.

What will happen tomorrow morning? Is it over? Do we even want to continue this?

Why does this happen? Is it truly just the alcohol, or the commotion of other people? I don’t have an answer for you, matter of fact I was one of these three couples…can’t tell you which one, but bottom line…these nights aren’t fun. If you’re fighting over simple things like that, then why? Is it worth it?

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Out of Sight Out of Mind…and Heart?

Out of sight, out of mind…and heart?

It’s this silent crush I have… I maybe see him once every week or every other week, depending. When I’m not around him though, the crush fades I don’t think about him, every hour of my day or before I even go to bed. But that moment when we cross paths for a few hours I can literally feel the drool running down my chin. Yes your right he’s super attractive but so are a lot of guys I see. I’m drawn into his words, his gestures, even his facial expression. It’s like he turns on some magnetic field that just so happens to run positive with mine and I’m captivated. That night…and that night only I go home completely obsessed and starry eyed with him and craving more. The next morning arrives and alarms scream at me…yes I said plural ALARMS because I set many to get my ass out of bed. And suddenly the frames of last night leak out onto my pillow and slowly the feelings are lost.

Why? Is this what a crush is? Or is this purely an attraction?

Or maybe…just maybe…I hold him in a small part of my heart that I don’t recognize till he comes around and I allow myself to open up…and with each passing time I see him that small areas grows just a centimeter more…

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Does Your Heart Cling?

I’m doing this one for the guys…you want to know the why behind clingers; I’ll give you a little insight.

  1. The Clingers: Now I’m no expert in this field, but I will say some girls just have the clingy personality. I can’t tell you if the underlining reason is daddy issues, previous boyfriend problems, or some other traumatic experience in her past that has made her this way, but that’s always a possibility. That’s something that if you want to find out, you have to talk to her about. However, some girls they just need a guy around, it’s as simple as that. You were their last crush, boyfriend, or even last guy to give them attention so they will cling to you. This probably won’t stop until you are clear and direct with them that you are not interest, or they find someone else. I know that’s a rough answer and not what you wanted to hear, but if you just ignore their texts, they will not stop! Just saying.
  2. The “Other” Clinger: I’m guilty of falling into this category, sad but true, so I’m going to explain this how I’ve experienced it and seen several of my friends go through it.
    We’re not crazy, were fairly independent girls and we don’t need a boyfriend all the time. However, when we slip we fall a little too hard. These types of clingers develop over night, speaking hypothetical and literal. We crush on a guy and he gives us attention, but we don’t play it up, because again we’re just testing the waters just like the guy, so we do our best to down play it for now. We don’t try to push things, because we want the guy to take the lead and make the first move, but then the ball drops. It’s that late, too much to drink, kind of night. Our guard lets up and were making out or hooking up and soon you’ve experienced this independent girl with every guard down and in her most vulnerable state.Clinger Alert!

    We don’t mean it, but you are now the person who broke us down, we know in the back of our minds that it didn’t mean much to you, but for us, we don’t let up for just anyone, so now we want to talk about it. We desperately need to know if this could be something. We become obsessed with the idea of “us”, even though, and trust me we know, bottom line there’s nothing here, but we lost that control and we need it back. We crave for it back. So you can go on ignoring our texts, and try to stay away but we will fight till we can get that upper hand again. Which creates this clinger, desperate act. Best way to get rid of us, meet us, let us explain and let us walk away. But we know your pride won’t allow that either, so till we decide the controls lost, we will fight. Slow our roll with the texts till eventually we just get over it. Some take longer than others, but we all hit that point. And it becomes a lesson learned for us independent girls for the next guy we “crush” on.

    Sorry for the Clinger status!

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Not A Cookie Cutter Heart

Cookie Cutter

So here it is…take a good look at this shape. The perfect rounded edge that connect each side to the direct point. Imagine folding it in half, it’d match perfectly right? The mirrored sides of the heart, that happens to be ever so flawless. Why? Why, is this the shape that supposedly resembles a part of us that controls so much of our own bodies. Why is this the shape that resembles so much meaning behind our self and our relationships with other? Why is this the shape that resembles the word love? Who came up with this, and why did they make it to be so seamless?

I’m here to tell you, my own heart, is just not that cookie cutter perfect. Do we all have that unrealistic expectations that our hearts look and work like that? So easy, perfectly even, and clean…is that really what your heart and love is like? If so, congratulations, because that is fricken amazing and you are one darn lucky person. However, me, myself…not a chance, I guess I’m more of the realist in that, a heart is not this evenly shaped round to point picture. I’m that blob of a thing covered in muck that doctors show you. Love often confuses me, I can’t tell which feelings are coming from my heart or my mind. I’ve been up in down in the love department that has left me with some extra scratches, marks, and tears that have morphed my heart from being shapeless. I’m not trying to depress you, I’m just trying to make you aware of this symbol being so different than our expectations. Not having a cookie cutter heart, isn’t a bad thing, it makes us unique. It gives us good or bad, experiences and memories to mold ourselves and hearts into something more. For myself personally, my heart has had the ability to be stronger through my past and the experiences I’ve overcame.

What’s the shape of your heart?

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Drunken Hearts Aren’t All That Bad

It’s been a hell of a week, between work, family, and friends who crave drama, you just want that break…better yet, FREEDOM! Friday is here and you are ready to let loose. It’s not something to throw yourself into every weekend, but this weekend as you curl your hair and pick out your “go to” outfit, you know that tonight, you won’t be the one watching others on the dance floor. You finish your rum and diet, “pre game” drink before you head out the door, it’s time. You and your girls are looking like stunners and instantly, you can feel the freedom with a side of drama rising…TONIGHT…IS…HERE.

First one to hit the dance floor, busting moves out that haven’t been seen since we were in high school like the Crip walk, shopping cart, and lawn mower…oh yeah get it girl. Then the guys show up. Generally, this would be the time to tone it back, but tonight you really don’t care, total confidence, you send over a wave and throw yourself right back into it. You know the guy you’ve been crushing on the past few months is watching you, but this time his gazing eyes aren’t worth impressing. If this makes him uninterested then so be it, because tonight, girl, it is all about you and that dance floor. Soon your running to the bathroom with your friend to stare at your sweaty self and trying to find a way to fix your makeup and hair that’s lost its nice flow. It’s useless; you put it up before you loose your confidence to boogie back down. You and your girls exchange comments, short stories, and drama before meeting the boys back out there. You feel unstoppable at this point, no worries, and no thoughts of tomorrow only tonight.

These ventured moments are not always our brightest memories, I’m sure we all often spill more than we want to, and expose some dark secrets of our personal life that were better left alone kept deep in our hearts. Heck, sometimes we get lucky though and find a connection with someone and even though it’s a sloppy conversation it cured a need we needed…a listener, drunk or sober, we all need that once in awhile, right?

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Enjoy your Friday night, tonight. Let yourself find that freedom! Be safe this weekend!

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Heart Of Oil

So every month we all hear about some new fad that will slim are tummies, boost our metabolism, or help us drop 4 dress sizes in one week. If you are anything like me, we’ve tried some these “top trends”. Only after do I discover that my stomach doesn’t shrink, my energy level remains the same, and no I didn’t even drop 1 dress size. Instead, I just wasted my time and money and am left with embarrassment and guilt yet again for falling for another foolish trick. Now with that being said, I am going to speak truth behind all the Coconut Oil conversations. If this topic is new to you, try putting Coconut Oil in Google and you’ll catch on quick. However, my friends at Afro Fit sent me their African Virgin Coconut Oil and it truly is amazing. There are articles out there that have over 100 uses for Coconut Oil, now I don’t know if I believe all of them, but here’s what I’ve found use for it and it really works!

  1. Baking needs: it can be used as a replacement to butter (for those that are dairy free) it can also be used for your cooking oil in stir-fry’s, etc. I’ve used it in my gluten free cookies recipe and now I’ve even got my family to eat these “healthier” cookies without complaining.
  2. Skin: I use it as a basic lotion on my body and face. I always put it on at night and my face feels refreshed and smooth in the morning. I’ve never felt my skin feel so soft before. It can even help prevent acne from appearing. It can also be used as Chap Stick for lip moisture.
  3. Teeth: Twice a week I use it for oil pulling. I gargle it for about 20 minutes (I know that seems like along time) it’s a natural teeth whitener and helps improve gum health. If you mix it with baking soda, that’s an even better way to whiten and brush your teeth.
  4. Ladies you’ll love this one: It even helps diminish cellulite! Now, I’m not going to sell you on this, however, I have been using it regularly on my legs for the past month and I truly believe my skin looks and feels great because of the Coconut Oil.

There are many more uses for Coconut Oil, these are the few I use it for and believe that I’ve seen true results. There are many types of Coconut Oil, but I’ve discovered the African Virgin Coconut Oil, which is 100% natural from Afro Fit works best! They source and proceed this Oil in West Africa by small-scale local farmers in Ghana, who use traditional method to manufacture their virgin coconut oil. Please go to their site www.afrofit.co.uk to check out their Coconut Oil, Workout Videos, and more. It will bring you one step closer to living a healthier life.

Oil Pic

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Do You Have A Heart Of Tea Or Whiskey?

Teacup

She’s whiskey in a teacup.

I grew up being taught what was right and what was wrong. I’ve been told over and over by many adults and I believe to have a good understanding of the concept between good and bad. And overall, I like the taste of tea, staying in on my weekends, having a movie night with a small group of friends. However, some nights, that tea doesn’t seem to fulfill me the way I want it too and the only way to make things right…. is to add a little whiskey.

I think no matter how much good there is in you, we all need or rather deserve are night of whiskey (or any alcohol) in our cups. It feels good of letting go from our daily stresses of work, relationships, friends, or family and feeling freedom! I’m not saying I’m perfect, but if you met me, I’m more on the shy side, I like to make sure everyone’s happy and I do my best to keep any rude thoughts to myself. If I had to pick I look like tea rather than whiskey…but I have a little whiskey in me. Those nights I get to let loose can be some of my greatest, yet most dangerous moments. The end results of that whiskey and freedom may not be good, but needed.

Tonight, I may look like tea, but I’m drinking whiskey. Right now, I want to dance, I’ll probably get loud and yes people will judge, but guess what? My night will be better than yours.

What are you drinking?

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A Heart of a Fool

It’s a mixed up world now a days. We have a voice, a mind, and so much freedom, some would say even too much. Relationships, partnerships, marriages, etc…they are so full of liars, cheaters, and mistreaters. Isn’t it weird to think about not that long ago your parents picked whom you’d marry? An arrange married, you have no say or control over the matter, heck you barely even knew the guy before you were walking down the aisle to say “I do”. Yet, now people say they need to live together for at least a year or two to see if they can be compatible together before the marriage part.

What changed?

I can’t decide whose braver, those who jumped into a marriage with someone they didn’t know at all, or those who refuse to settle with someone till they are absolutely positive their boyfriend is husband material. And they don’t say the “I do” till then. Honestly, I’m sitting here dating a guy on and off for like 3 years and am feeling pretty foolish. If my grandma could up and marry a guy she barely knew and she was 5 years younger than me and have two kids with him without second guessing than what am I doing? Why am I so afraid to jump in too? That brings me to my freedom talk, I have freedom to pick and choose, and sometimes I’m wondering if it’s almost a bad thing. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I would not do an arrange marriage, my point is, there are so many other guys out there that I haven’t met yet. So if my options are limitless than when do I know that this one is it? Is there a time limit on this relationship race or amount of boyfriends and dates I can go on till I have to pick? If there is I’m sure I’ve already hit it.

We are a new generation, that’s for sure. And in no way am I complaining about any of this, I guess I just wonder, what’s made commitment these days so much harder than those before us?

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The Men In My Heart

Either I have a terrible type or every guy is the same…

Looking back at my track record, and let me be clear for a moment, I haven’t “officially” dated many guys, but I’ve had a lot of “flings”. Now, looking back on the list of guys I’ve had an interest in, hung out with, accepted one date from, and officially dated, I’m beginning to see a similar pattern. And not necessarily a pattern in the type of guys because I’ve tried the athlete, the brainiac, the bad boy, the goofy one, heck I’ve tried a foreigner…yet I still seem to find myself in the same boat with similar feelings towards each guy. Yes, my longer relationship men were great, and there’s not a real comparison to the other flings, but the things that bug me like gestures, hand motions, or “moves”, as we call them, are all the same. Every guy uses the same “moves” and I find it extremely annoying to the point that I can no longer see the good qualities I once saw. Because now that they’ve resembled themselves with a particular gesture or “move” I relate them to previous guys that I could no longer stand and soon before I know it they’re looking like my exes and I’m back to having the breakup talk again.

So my question is, do I truly have terrible taste in men, or is it possible that all men are the same?

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The Heart of Entertainment

Maybe I’m wrong, but at some point in time every relationship has their dull moment where things are just plain boring. The butterflies are gone, you’ve grown comfortable with each other and your dates have become a last minute, “I’m hungry, lets eat” dinner at Applebee’s. You’ve now hit that wall where you miss the excitement and maybe even crave a little drama.

It’s like your favorite television show and you love the tension between the two main characters. Everyone knows they should be together, but there’s always drama or issues that arise and place roadblocks in the way of them dating. But then finally there’s that episode when they both decide they want to be together and it’s almost like you feel their love for one another at that moment. But soon, as the show goes on and the two main characters are now a couple, you realize the show is losing your interest. There’s no more drama, there’s no excitement. Suddenly, your mindset has changed and you want them to break up just for that drama and commotion again.

Isn’t that kind of like our own lives, we love the newness of a relationship. The chance to meet a guy and never knowing what he’s going to do next.; when you have your first kiss and all the butterflies that come along with it. You get to add a title to it and tell people all about your boyfriend but soon after a few months or maybe years, that newness dries up and your left with no butterflies, drama, or unpredictable surprises…you become uninterested with the relationship.

So what now? Do you constantly jump from relationship to relationship to keep the newness or is there a solution to maintaining the excitement, or perhaps we all settle with the comfortable, easy, and less exciting relationship?

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