Friendless Heart

So I’m going to start by saying, I am guilty of this! I, myself, and thousands of other girls have fallen into this state of mind and have done this at one point in their life, and so I’ll begin.

Point Blank: when we get into relationships and start losing our friends.

We, as girls, hit our breaking point and just want a guy in our lives. Some girls form of “want” turns into desperation, which saddens me, while others of us just simply want a guy, because we’re human. Here’s the big issue though, girls that get to be so desperate to find a guy that they end up ditching their girls to get the guy. I can understand if a really nice, attractive guy asks you out, and there has been no red flags or reasons to turn him down and you say accept his request for a date. However, the date he picks happens to be the same day with a girlfriend so you have to cancel, with the right intentions to cancel, I’m sure your friend would be understanding. But there’s a different between once and several times. I think we often forget who was there for us in the beginning; the girls. You can be dating or even married to the most fantastic guy in the world, but to forget your girlfriends because of it, isn’t right. No I’m not speaking out of jealousy of girls who have a relationship, I’m speaking from a girl whose done it to her own friends and has had it done to her. You need your girls, because your man is going to fail you at times, and you’ll have your low moments and when you do, it’s your girls that your going to turn to. You can still have ladies nights when your in a relationship, matter of fact I recommend it. It makes your nights alone with your man more special and your friends being joy to your life too.

No matter how old you are and you feel rushed to find a man, don’t forget your ladies when you get the chance to meet a guy. Your relationship with your man is important, but so is the one with your girls, don’t forget that!

“Stand by your man, but sit with your girlfriends…”

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How to Love with the Heart?

“I love you.”

These three little words can mean everything in situations and absolutely nothing in others, it’s all in how and to whom you say it.

I use this sentence when I talk to my parents, my sisters, and my brothers, but there’s one individual who gets to hear these sweet precious words everyday from me and that’s….my dog. Yup, I’ve said it, my puppy (she’s actually 7), greets me at the door everyday after work and I pick her up (she’s a shih tzu) and hug her and tell her how much I love and missed her. Then she sprawls herself out on her back so I’m able to rub her little tummy and she looks at me with her big brown eyes and at that moment, I believe she’s telling me she loves me too.

izzy

Now is it easy for me to say these words to my puppy because I don’t truly mean it? Heck no, I know when I say “I love you” to Izzy (my dog) that I mean it 100%. When it’s time to say goodbye to her, my life will be torn apart because I love her so much, but let’s get to my point. When I think about sharing these three little words with a guy…well to put it simply…the idea strikes my heart like lightening and I feel like I’d pass out. Was that too extreme? Sorry, but it scares me and I can’t figure out why.

There’s many different kinds of love: love for a family member, love for our friends, love for our pets, and love for hobbies, then there’s love for our significant other…the kind of love that comes from the deepest place in our hearts…true love (that Disney kind of love I guess).

I’ve had moments where I get that deep down “love” feeling and it seems like it’s time to say it, but when I visualize the words coming out of my mouth…I quickly swallow them back down. I want these words to mean something big when I say it to that special someone, maybe I’m being too cautious, but at least I know that when I do say it, I’ll really mean it…from the heart.

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Heart of a City

A new city full of shopping, history, bars, and a whole lot of MUSIC! I finally had the chance to experience Nashville last month and it was everything I had expected and more. Here’s my #flashbackfriday post to a city I fell in love with instantly.

So even though I’m not from the south, I think I’m a country girl at heart. Nashville, Tennessee is known to be Music City, where country music was born and I couldn’t agree more. It was such a thrilling experience to be in bars like Tootsies and The Stage, knowing that this was where so many great country artists I love, started out. Some of these bars even travel back to the days of Jonny Cash, June Carter, and Little Johnny Dickens. Maybe that doesn’t mean anything to you, but the history of this town, speaks loudly. Every corner you turn there’s a story of some great artist who stood there or sang their heart out waiting to be heard.  It’s what makes this city so magical. Every single night of the week there’s live music, you can go into a bar on Monday at noon and sure enough you have someone whose dream is to be heard and they are singing their heart out on stage, giving their two people audience something to remember.

You may not care for country music, or Nashville, but I’m sure there’s a vacation or place you’ve been that excited you the way Nashville did to me. Any new place I go I find something that fascinates me. Because in each big or little city there are stories, there is a unique character about that place that no one else has, and it’s special. Even the little town you live in now, you may not realize it, but there’s something there that makes it worth visiting. If I had the chance and let’s hope someday I do…I want to see it all.

Travel…to make a journey and understand the world we live in…

n       n2      n3

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How to Fix A Settling Heart

I want so much out of this life but my dreams feel impossible and I often wonder should I just settle?

I know this is wrong of me to think, but sometimes I just hit my low points. I consider my reality right now and my dreams to where I someday hope to be and think…there is just no way. I have no avenues there, no opportunities, or connections. How in the world am I ever going to fulfill all I want to in this life? Then I wonder about other people. Does everyone have dreams that are really only just dreams to him or her? Do you sit and dream about where you hope to be someday, but then eventually come to the realization it will never happen, so you just settle? Do we all settle eventually in some area of our lives?

1. Relationships: Some people have that crazy, outgoing type of love that no matter where they are in public or alone in private they are insanely in love and can’t keep your hands off of each other. Yet, other couples just end up marrying because it seems logical. They are best friends, they tell each other everything, and in the end they make a good team, they’ve dated for years so why not just get married. They’re “in love”, but it’s not your head over heels type of love. Is that considered settling?

2. Jobs: We all want the perfect job, one that we love and enjoy; yet not everyone will get to that point in their lives. Why? Some because their dream job doesn’t pay enough, or they just can’t seem to find the avenue to get to their dream job, so they settle into a job that pays the bills and call it good.

3. Body: Who doesn’t want that perfect bod? We tell ourselves tomorrow I won’t eat sugar, or I’ll go to the gym, yet only a handful of us really stick to our diets. So we settle in our own skin and hope to feel okay and comfortable with our looks.

Settle….Settle…Settle…just think about that for a moment…do you want to settle?

I hope your answer is like mine and you DON’T! Age, gender, race, or whatever it is that you think is holding you back from reaching your ultimate self, should not be a factor anymore. Believe in yourself, work hard at it, and never quit. Our dreams may not be easy, but settling for anything less than that, is not going to make you truly happy. So don’t ever give up on yourself!

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Type of Hearts

We all have a type right? When you start to describe this “type” do you ever find yourself describing just the physical components, or sometimes just the personality ones?

So let’s say you have your physical type, you like him tall between 5’11 and 6’ 2”, brown hair, athletic built, and blue eyes. Seems simple enough, but then you add your personality type good sense of humor, makes you laugh, kind and caring, and has to be outgoing. Then just to add more to the twist we even have their “must haves” hobbies list; must play basketball or football, likes dogs, country music, and fishing.

I think everyone can sit down and make of list of qualities and physical attributes of what they want in a future man, but how do we obtain such a lengthy list? I’ll say it now, I’m guilty of turning down a guy just because he was “too country” for me, or maybe “too tall”, etc. But who are we to really know if he wasn’t right for us. There are some obvious reasons that you can look at someone and tell, “yeah they aren’t for me” but why do we have to be so turned away from guys we haven’t even met.

We all have a type, but sometimes what we think we want isn’t always what we need, even when it comes to people we will date. Maybe it’s time to give someone else a chance who does not necessarily meet your list of quality…

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Double the Hearts

Is it possible to like two people at the same time, equally?

It kind of goes like this, “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”…

Here I am with the best of both worlds, on one hand I hold the sweetest guy in the whole world. He adores me, extremely loyal, super cute, and does his absolute best to make me feel like a princess. Things are just easy with us, we can spend a Friday night at home watching a movie, cuddled up, and call it a great night. There’s no drama, when he says he’s going to call he does, there’s no ifs, ands, or buts, he does what he says and our relationship is easy. But is it too easy?

On my other hand, I hold the most difficult guy in the whole world. He’s a mystery, he keeps me on my toes, surprising me with sweet gestures, then ignores me the next day, he’s got sexy written all over him. I know that if I get him to myself, I’ve won something big. He’s the chase, something that I’ve never experienced. He’s the bad boy that I get a chance to change. Yes, its not easy, but it’s exhilarating with him. So many girls are after him, but the nights he’s with me, he gives me his full attention. I never know what exactly he’s feeling, which makes it exciting, yet complicating. Is it too complicating?

The time will come when I have to make a decision between the two. I like them both because they both offer me different things: stability and excitement. But I know that this type of situation can’t last forever and a decision has to be made. I know what your thinking, RUN from the bad boy and CLING to the good guy…

What if I’m not ready to settle…a lesson can be learned in every challenge…do I take that chance?

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Hearts Actions vs. Hearts Thoughts

Who ever said it’s the thought that counts, YET actions speak louder than words?

Just consider this, you meet up with a guy you are dating after he gets back from a vacation and he goes on telling you all about it. The whole time he was gone, he had only texted you two out of the five days, but he goes on to tell you that he missed you and thought about calling you every night just to hear your voice. Now in your head you can tell yourself, well he didn’t call ever, but it’s the though that counts, right? So he must really like you.

Now consider this, you meet up with a guy you are dating after he gets back from a vacation and he goes on telling you about it. The whole time he was gone, he had only texted you two out of the five days. He’s telling you about his time at the beach, and bars he went to, etc… yet he goes on to tell you that he missed you. However, he never called and only made an effort to text you a couple times. Actions speak louder than words, so he clearly didn’t miss you that much, right?

So here it is: we have the same situation, mixed with two very popular statements, and they are read completely different.

Which one do you believe holds more importance?

It’s tough to pick just one, for me I’d like to know that you thought about me, but I’d also like to hear it and see the effort as well. Maybe that’s me being too greedy, but I can’t say one is right and the other one is not. They both do hold some truth, but in the end a friendship or a relationship isn’t based on either of these statements, and if you are using these as an excuse to save a relationship, then it’s not a real relationship, because a relationship hold much more than thoughts and actions between two people.

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Heart Full of Thoughts

speak_your_mind-423199-1

 

I saw this picture and I connected with it instantly. “What I said…. What I want to say.” How often have you kept your mouth shut in situations due to fear of confrontation, hurting someone’s feelings, or hurting your own? Realistically what are you hurting when you don’t speak up? What are the consequences of saying what you feel? I think if we made a list of the pros and cons to keep our mouths shut or sharing how we feel about something, the list would show the cons weigh heavier than the pros when it comes to not saying anything.

I’m probably most guilty of this. My mind runs a million thoughts per minute that at times I can feel my heart rate rising as I sit and contemplate each and every thought. I sometimes wonder if I said the things I truly wanted to say, maybe I’d stress less? Or maybe, I’d help someone who really needed to hear the things I’m too afraid to say to them, but it’s really exactly what they need to hear.

Now I’m not saying that we should all go out and say everything that comes to us out loud. There are times and places when some things should be kept only to your own thoughts, however, it’s not hard to read a situation and if you feel strongly about speaking up, and it’s only fear that is holding you back…it’s time you go for it! Don’t let yourself walk away from a conversation thinking…I should of said this or that…

Speak your mind (in moderation) and I believe you’ll find yourself having less regrets, more honest relationships with significant others and friends, and possibly even a job promotion.

The benefits could be endless…stop thinking and start speaking!

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Hearty Kisses

Okay so we chatted a little about kisses and the meaning they hold, or used to hold in our days of innocence. Growing off that topic, how about the number of kisses you’ve had? And with who?

When I first ended things with my first boyfriend I was 17 years old, he was my only kiss. By then people had kissed 5 or more people and I’ve only had one! I felt so far behind. Finally, my 18th birthday past and my number still hadn’t grown. My girls would ask me if I was a good kisser and I realized only one boy had experienced a kiss from me, and he hadn’t kissed anyone else so what did we know about good and bad. I decided it was time to test myself and experience more. My second, first kiss, was terrible. It was with a guy I very much disliked, and after the kiss I just liked me that much less, but my number was gaining, so that was the positive side. Soon my number was jumping. I now look back and wish I hadn’t kissed those boys that our moments lasted one night. It was so pointless, I mean was it really that fun? Not really, my number is higher than I would like to share. I’d like to think that from now on I’m saving my next first kiss, to be my last first kiss. For that and only. No promises, but that’s my goal from here.

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There’s No Heart Here

I’m scrambling…morning, afternoon, night…Next day. Where has all the time gone? Here it is summer, the time I’ve been waiting for, for so long in those gruesome winter months and it’s just slipping away from me. Here we are into July already and I failed to make 4th of July plans. Guess I’ll be watching fireworks alone this year. I’ve been so focused on weddings, engagement parties, wedding showers,  bachelorette parties, etc…no joke this month has been full of them! It’s not that I don’t enjoy them either, I mean I love weddings and social events, but right now I just can’t muster another dance to the Wobble or Cupid Shuffle. I can hug every bride I see and tell them their beautiful and I most defiantly mean it, but it’s become such a routine, I feel like a robot saying it. I can’t remember what happened at what wedding because they are all starting to blur together and no that’s not because of too much wine. I just want me time now. I have fun at these weddings and then after I sit alone thinking…when will it be my turn? Seeing the Bride and Groom have their first dance and just thinking someday…that’ll be me…right? I think I’ve reached my limit of weddings this year. Unfortunately I’ve got several more, that I know I will enjoy, but right now I just don’t have a heart to feel truly happy. I can’t enjoy myself as they have the married couples dance and the slow songs that are played between the party songs. I don’t mean to have a pity party for myself I’m just saying I’m getting to the point that maybe…just maybe…the wedding thing won’t happen for me. So please let me just enjoy my summer my way before I miss out celebrating everyone else’s great lives.

I promise my next post will be filled with more joy…till then…CHEERS to the freaking weekend ya’ll!

Happy Birthday America!! (4th of July) :)

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