A Craving Heart

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Ever realized how many times you say the words, “I want” in a day or a week.

Just think about that? It was a lot wasn’t it? For me it’s almost too many times to count. I realized that’s something that I struggle with. I’m constantly thinking about myself and the wants and needs in my life that I don’t take time to see my blessings and the gifts I do have. Looking at the others that are less fortunate than me and it makes me disgusted with myself to know I was being that selfish.

Focusing on others needs and helping them with what you can do can bring such joy to your own life and be more satisfying than getting yourself that new shirt or outfit you wanted. It is a sacrifice to give up things you want and give to others, but if you can find that joy in giving,  your life can be just as blessed. Look beyond your own needs and seek to help others. It’s a difficult task, but also a very rewarding one.

An Open Heart

Consider the word ‘YES

What’s that mean to you?

Does it hold meaning to acceptance, or agreeing, or the direct definition would be, “used to give an affirmative response.”

So now think about all the invitations or opportunities that have come your way in the past couple weeks, I am talking about the big ones like going to a concert to the very little ones like getting coffee with a distant friend. How many did you say yes to? How many did you say no to, or to better put that, you didn’t say no, but when the time came to go, you were sick, too busy, forgot you made other plans, or some other flat out lie to get yourself out of it. Am I right? I know I do these things all the time. And I have to ask myself why? Sometimes better plans do come up and I’d rather be there, or I don’t want to go because I won’t know everyone there and I’m on the shy side when it comes to meeting new people, or I simply just would rather be alone for the night.

The excuses are lame, the opportunity comes and invitations pass and we are all missing out on what could be great experiences and memories. I am tired of thinking what would have happened if I went, who I could have met, or better yet, who could have met me! I’m not saying I’m going to vow to always say ‘yes’ to things, BUT I am going to accept invitations, as much as possible, within means. If it’s going to put me in harm’s way then I think it’s best to say no, but I’m sure you get the point.

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Don’t let life pass you by; everyday is an invitation to a new adventure….accept it and great things can happen.

Heart’s Future

I want to go far and I want to make a difference, but most importantly I want to do it for the right reasons and bless others. I want to be inspired and hold my goals high for my life. The direction I’m headed is not clear, but I’m okay with that as long as I keep moving and never give up. I have so many questions about my future, but I know that I’ll never know if I’m making the right decisions unless I try.

My failures will help direct my paths, but sitting back and waiting for them to come to me, will get me nowhere.

I will not be afraid of my future or taking chances.

Heart Stands Still

Have you ever ran into your crush at the mall or something and that very moment you two walk away you find yourself taking out your phone in hopes he will call or text you soon. Soon the sadness creeps in as your phone does not go off all night and when it finally does it’s your mom telling you about a family dinner planned for tomorrow. You find yourself depressed and debating if a text to him first would help move things along for you two….let me stop you there. 

I’m all for girl power and we can make the first moves, but sometimes you just have to read the guy. In the beginning of most new “crushes” I think it’s important to let them do the chasing. A guy will make it happen if they want it to make it happen. There are the special cases where some guys are shy and they need you to make the first move. However, if this is a guy that has been playing this game with you for some time now, then it’s time you allow every move to be put into his hands. He expects you to text him first, so don’t. You’ll surprise him and it’ll catch his interest more. He will sit there wondering if you don’t like him anymore and if he messed up because you’re no longer chasing him.

Stop luring yourself into his web of girls that are wrapped around his finger. Don’t make plans around him; hang out with your friends and keep your plans with the expectation of not hearing from him. It shows confidence in yourself and you are allowing yourself to find happiness on your own rather than allowing someone else to be in charge of it.

So for now do nothing…put the phone away, go hangout with your girls…and let the guys do the chasing.

Stagnant Heart

Days go by and I feel like I’m wasting time, but for what? Is there ever a point in life when you can say, “I made it!” Then at that point you are free to do whatever you please and you’ll never worry or stress again? I’m beginning to think there’s just no such thing. Life is full of different decisions some big some small. There are good times and bad times and everyone is faced with their own battles.

 My battle…

I want to know that I’m on the right track and working towards something amazing. I constantly feel pulled in different directions by others opinions and needs, but what about what I want? What if what I’m doing isn’t meant for my me? I do feel comfortable where I am at in my life, but I’m to the point where it bothers me, that I’m too comfortable in my plain life. I want to be busy and move forward with a career, I just have no direction to move in.

My solution…

I know what I like and don’t like. I have many desires and dreams to fulfill in my life, that I’m finding it hard to pick just one. However, searching and doing things to create opportunities will always move me forward and narrow my search to finding the life I am meant to live. Never give up and never stop working towards your dreams.

Running The Heart

Run! Run! Run!

It seems like hours I’ve been moving through these woods, over every fallen tree and the dried up bush that scraps the back of my calves. The sweat falls down my cheeks and I taste a salty drop on my lips.

When will this stop?

I need a break, but as soon as I slow down, it’s right behind me. I can never move, never rest, must keep moving forward. I will not fall short from this. I still have time to get through the fog into the sun. I just want to be there, see the ending, but there is no ending. I have to have been running for hours now, but still no let up. I can hear it all behind me, so so close. No stopping, I allow the adrenaline run through my veins and it keeps me traveling forward. Through more muck, dirt, and with every step lose another ounce of fear and gain the capability to take on another barrier.

This is a life of a dreamer. We dream and dream of everything that seems so endless, but where do the dreams stop and we allow them to take place in our reality? Where is the fight and struggle for our dreams to become goals in our present time.

People bring up down as barriers, obstacles, they tear us down with words and create fear in us and we allow it, because of where we come from. It’s not okay to dream or think your reality will be different. Face the facts your life is this way, like your parents. Get a job, get married, have some kids, and if you’re lucky retire someday then you can enjoy your life. Till then….I suggest you run faster.

Hearts Have Scars Too

Ever thought back to the days when you were younger? The days of innocence, when you had no worries and no drama. The thoughts of clothes, boys, jobs, or anything remotely important crossed your mind. Those elementary days were such a joy when I look back on them. My friend and I recently watched old videos of us in middle school and through it were images of people I no longer talk to or see. These were girls and boys I was so close to fifteen years ago and now for some of them, I couldn’t even tell you which state they live in. Crazy how long ago those days seem and the distance that was created between us. Then there are the ones I do still know today, and the changes that have been put in them are drastic. Even in myself. Through the experiences and challenges I’ve faced, I’ve realized I’m a stranger to my elementary self.

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The scars on my heart are what have molded me through different experiences and how I got to be who I am.

I’ve lost a lot of my innocence. I’ve experienced and done things I’m not proud of and things that I would never want to share with the young girl in me. I’ve allowed friends to back stab me, and I’ve returned the stab right back to some of them through cruel words and actions. I’ve allowed boys to walk over me, use me, and disrespect me. There are times I lost all respect for myself and acted completely foolish. These experiences created the scars that strip my heart and through the have changed me. Some changes may have been better, I know I’m stronger than I ever was before the difficulties. But there are other circumstances I wish I would have done differently. Either way, I am here now, and I still have my future. The scars are there and they can’t be forgotten, but they can be healed.

I am stronger than I was yesterday, and come next month I’ll be even stronger than I am now.Your past will reflect your future…but whether it’s going to reflect you good or bad, is completely up to you and how you handle those struggles.

You may have lost your innocence, but you don’t have to lose yourself.